I can’t keep it a secret any longer. I’m pregnant. 10 weeks.
We didn’t want to tell anyone until 12 weeks however, due to the fact that I’ve had dozens of amazing women over at my house, bringing me meals, scrubbing my toilet, emptying my vomit bowl, and taking me to doctor’s appointment ever since 5 weeks, I figured it was already out in the open.
Wondering what’s going on? Well…
I’ve involuntarily joined a club. It’s a club my mom, gma, aunt, and great gma are all a part of. It’s a club I’ve tried to get out of but it doesn’t seem like there are any solutions. In fact, since I’ve joined, I’ve met a few others who are also a part of this club and survived it. It’s the severe hyperemesis gravidarum club. And all of them say the same thing, “I know you pray to just die…but I promise…the gift is so worth it.”
So since then, I’ve had a few dental wives come over and wave their children in front of me to show me how worth it it is. And my mom posted baby pictures all over the family room (yeah she came out and saved me for 2 weeks) and hung up baby clothes to remind me that I’m even pregnant and not just on my death bed.
What’s so awful, you ask?
Well it’s not even the vomiting every hour that kills ya…it’s the FEELING of ALWAYS having to vomit and never being able to escape it. I’m not talking about feeling nauseous; I’m talking about the feeling of having the vomit all the way up to your throat and the only reason you’re not throwing up is because there are no more blood vessels to pop on your face and it’s just too far a walk to the toilet so you’ll just hold it there for an hour. If you belong to this hyperemesis club—you know exactly how I feel and are probably smiling at this poor sucker right now.
It’s really exhausting—a true mental game. Thinking of surviving for 20-22 weeks like this just brought tears to my eyes. Serious. Dang—and now I’ll throw up because holding back tears takes so much effort which also seems to make me throw up.
So: I’m on bed rest. Yes, Katie Robison, who has every second of her day planned out, has created a permanent body mark on the couch and has watched every Disney movie, cartoon, and romantic comedy in the past 2 years (they make my dreams happy). What happens when I move you ask? I throw up. What happens when I throw up too much? I have to go to the ER for dehydration (which I’ve already frequented a few times).
Anyway—I’m sorry to all you good friends who I didn’t call and alert and those of you who text me and don’t receive anything back. Based on the advice of other club members, in order to survive, I just have to focus on surviving until tomorrow—and it takes focus.
Bit of good news: Due to the fact that I have no belly fat right now (don’t you dare message me that it’s this is a great weight loss program), I CAN FEEL THE BABY so much! Especially when I’m lying on my right side. (Here come the tears again…and the vomits). It’s been the most amazing feeling to just know that I actually have a baby inside me and that based on what everyone tells me, it’s so worth it. Although I’m not sure I can ever do this again—I’m SO EXCITED to be a mommy.
So, unless I don’t make it through this, you’ll probably hear from me again at 22 weeks when I’m getting dressed, walking, and brushing my teeth again.
This is how I pictured myself pregnant:
This is what I got but I’m usually laying on the floor after a vomit session:
Trivia: If you can guess how many times I threw up during this post, I’ll send you a package of all the food that makes me throw up...
8 comments:
First off, Congratulations! (Not on the club of course, but the baby part!) At least in all this misery you still have a sense of humor, because the last sentence you posted made me laugh! I remember when your family lived here and hearing how sick your mom was pregnant...so sorry you have to experience that!!! I guess I wont be complaining anymore with how sick I got when I was pregnant with my son. I am definitely not a fan of being pregnant, so not fun...and I am sure it is a million times worse for you! ( So if you ever feel the need to complain about how not fun it is, feel free to call me) However, that is exciting that you are already feeling the baby move, that may be the only part I ever liked while pregnant! Hope these next 10-12 weeks go super fast for you!!! Keep us updated as best you can!
I guess 3 times...what food makes you barf...oh wait don't think about it, I don't want to spur on another trip to the toilet. I wish I could come and take care of you for a while too. I also remember your mom being deathly sick during tyler's pregnancy...sorry to hear she passed on the gene to you. Try and survive the next several months...it will be worth it.
OH....MY....GOSH!!!!! I am sick for you! Well, not really, I mean not like you are. I can't even imagine what you are going through. What can I do for you??
Say to yourself what I would say to myself during every last chance workout. "This WILL end. I will survive. I will be home with Jason someday and not feel this pain." Wait....don't say that last part. He's mine. Back off.
Oh Katie, I'm so sorry, but I am really not at all because you are going to have a beautiful little baby! Okay, but I am sorry that you have to go through the pain. But I'm not because the pain will make it that much better! Oh, but I am because I cannot imagine. There is NOTHING worse than throwing up.
Call me if I can do anything. I miss you all the time. Give boomers a high five for me. Tell her I said "roll over". Love you.
katie, i am so sorry to hear how sick you have been. i promise you it is worth it, and that once that little baby gets here, miraculously you forget how bad this was. i was also so so sick. i lost about 22 pounds in 2 months with our little guy, and fought like the dickens not to be put on iv. i promise you it is worth it. hang in there, and if you ever need anything, i am just down the street!
xo. maren
Congrats on the baby! I know you've wanted that for a long time! So fun, and good luck staying well. Sounds awful but hopefully it'll pass soon! And if you need a mother to help out mine is only two hours away and I'm sure would come take care of you!
Congratulations! I had hyperemesis earlier on with this pregnancy. Have you gone to the doctor and gotten a prescription? I know that they don't work for all women, but it's worth a shot. I take 3 pills, each day, to combat the sickness still (25 weeks along), and I actually only throw up once every couple days. It doesn't completely get rid of the sickness, but it sure help. Anyway, that might be something to look into.
I'm so excited for you! Being a mom is great (most of the time)! For the times where you're lacking sleep, trying to soothe an inconsolable baby, etc, the giggles and smiles make it all so worth it.
well my goodness, im pretty sure that is the most dreadful thing I have ever heard. I (as in italicized "I") that pregnancy was hard. Clearly, I am a pansy. One thing every pregnant woman can sympathize with, however, is how long a week can feel. I am really sorry you have so many ahead of you. One thing about pregnancy, its a marathon... I wish it were a sprint. One thing I do want to say, being the pessimist and downer that I am, is that newborns are HARD. So while of course it will be worth it, don't feel like you are alone in the world if for the first couple months you are in a sleep deprived haze without much room for love in your heart. But on a brighter note- IF ANYONE CAN MAKE IT THROUGH THIS KATIE EDWARDS WHO DOES CRUNCHES IN HER ROOM AND HAS A SIX PACK CAN!! (Thats how I remember you :) )
Pobrecita mija!!!! I am so sorry! I have never even heard of this complication, but I am guessing it is genetic. This sounds horrible! Does it go away or last the entire pregnancy? I will never complain about my pregnancy sickness again. Does it comfort you at all to have an actual toilet nearby? I remember the good ol' days in the DR when we would get sick and not have anywhere to barf! :) Well I don't know what it's like to be that pregnancy sick, but I do know that my little girls are the absolute best part of life. Hang in there! I will be praying for you. Valdra la pena mija!
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